I wanted to let you know something on this day. It has been weighing on my heart to tell you since the moment I knew you existed.
My fears have already come true about you being our second child. Because there is not a single picture taken of me being pregnant with you yet. There is not a single journal entry written to you (until today that is), and honestly I'm pretty sure I have forgotten to tell most people that I am even pregnant at all with you.
15 weeks into this journey, and I have no idea how any of this happened. It just feels like time whizzes by and I have no control over it at all.
But, here is a little secret that I want you to hold onto throughout your childhood and beyond...
None of that stuff really means anything.
If there are less pictures of you, it just means I am spending more time enjoying you rather than stressing out about grabbing the camera to capture a moment.
If there are less words written to you, it just means that I am so consumed with my love for you, that I can't quite put it into words.
And if there are less people that I talk to about you, it just means that I am spending more time talking to you.
My love for you knows no bounds. It hasn't from the moment I knew you were going to be a part of our family.
Please know that.
If there is one thing your brother Hudson has taught me, it's that being a mom opens your heart up to love in a way you never thought possible.
Honestly, I thought it would be impossible to love another child the way I did the first time around. But in fact, I have found it so much easier to fall in love with you each day. In such a unique and special way. Completely separate from your brother.
You have a special place in my heart, little child of mine, and you always will. You are a gift. I could sit and wonder for hours what you will be like and who you will become. But what I know for sure is that this family doesn't feel complete anymore without you.
So remember, don't worry about the pictures, don't worry about the scrapbooks. Just hear my words when I tell you...
We dropped to our knees and endlessly prayed we would get you.
We fell down and wept the moment we knew we had you.
And we wait with longing in our hearts for the moment we can finally hold you in our arms.
You are loved so desperately, sweet baby of mine.
Love, Mama
P.S. I promise there will be at least some pictures of you soon :)
